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Life is a bit like the title of this blogpost- it's about the palette more than the paint. In other words, how paint is mixed, blended,  squeezed out side by side to another colour, is more exciting and/ or damaging than the paint itself.

Not babies not yet grown. I wished them to school, now I wait on their return. Breast pads, velcro and routine replaced by Crisp packets, consoles and trampoline.  The beats of three hearts outside of me.  Hearts started in my uterus. Excluding baby M. 14 weeks, heart stopped, hospital bed, taxi home. Her...

I read in last months Women's Health Magazine, in noted that we should be more open and honest in life. Apparently, this helps us to move forward with our lives and to prevent getting “stuck” in toxic friendships and relationships. When I read it I was drawn to the bullet points they had at the end of the article. One read “Tackle grief …”. It progressed to say how we are held back by unprocessed emotions, grief being one of them. As someone who “lost” (he didn’t fall of a pier but “lost” seems to be the terminology used often to describe death) my father a week before my eighth birthday, I can put my hand on my similarly defected heart (Dad died due to heart problems) and agree that the notion of dealing with grief stood out to me because it rang so true to me.
The new year can create a shocker for people, for any of us in fact who want to strive for better but feel bombarded by so.much.information. As you will see on my social media channels and if you were to meet me in person  you will quickly learn that I am an advocate for self-care. This means that I am not going to tell you that you need to change. Of course you are perfectly entitled to change physical parts of your body if you so desire this year (I have recently entered the world of lash extensions - WoW. Obsessed.).   If altering something or working towards losing weight or gaining muscle makes you stand a little taller or breathe a little deeper then I am all in. I want you to be YOU! Prioritise getting to know yourself over everything else and the rest will follow.

As I sit beside my freshly showered husband of ten years

he watches Olympic hockey and I secretly start the typing for this post.

My aim is not public kisses and hugs for my husband