24 Feb An honest guide to Motherhood
This year I am all about following my heart.
My heart wants me to throw some (hopefully encouraging) advice about motherhood to you. So here it is.
I have two boys. One is three and the other turns six today so it seems rather fitting that I chose this day, the same day that six years previously changed my life for-ever.
Right about now I was in the hospital feeling like I had collided with the stork on it’s way in when delivering the baby using a metal forklift. Then I sat staring at the fattest baby with the tiniest eyes that I ever did see. It was emotional.
Let me be honest; like I claim on my wellbeing instagram account with regards to fitness, I am NOT an expert. You can apply the same hands-in-the-air-it-wasn’t-me approach to this post about motherhood.
I just know it’s good to share nice words. Or as my three year old claims “sharing is caring”.
So, please know that I care.
Here are my points to help you on your way…
*Disclaimer* As with most things in my life there is no rhyme or reason for the order in which these points appear.
– “It gets easier” they say to you when you’re amidst the dark days of colic, or the times when your toddler is the bully at nursery (had that with both boys), or your school kid is struggling in class. But, it does get easier. As with business and other aspects of daily life, the trials and tribulations of motherhood are seasonal. Resource all the help you can, show love and hold tight. You will get through.
– (Some) Mother’s compete on the hours of sleep they get, the swimming club level wee Jonny is at, I’ve even had- “my burgers were homemade with organic meat, were yours?”. Don’t rise to it. Don’t compete. It’s not worth the fight and your baby/kid is amazing, don’t forget that fact.
– ‘Have baby will travel.’ And why not? Don’t limit yourself because of the fear that your little cherub will disrupt a plane of people or wing a magazine and his shoe at the lady in the seat in front. Oh wait. That was my little cherub. Anyway, you’re fine, just give it a go. Show your offspring the world even if it is a weekend down the road in a caravan.
– Attachment issues. We’ve all had them. Gosh, I hate leaving my kitchen surfaces for more than twenty four hours so I know what it’s like. Your baby goes through attachment phases, it’s natural. Embrace those weepy moments at the nursery drop off because in my experience they are short lived. Soon you’ll leave for New York for a week and they won’t even surface from playing Hungry hippos long enough to wave goodbye.
– Breastfeeding or bottle? Put simply, I don’t care. You’re amazing no matter what you choose.
-Your Body image. I get it. Whether you carried those kids in your tummy or whether you didn’t, a Mother’s body changes. The lack of sleep, the grey hairs from stress, the lack of sleep, the running about like a blue arse fly to football practice and clay modelling and playdates and swimming lessons, the lack of sleep… it all takes it’s toll. BUT, please know that you look the way you do because of blue arse fly syndrome (yes, believe it,it’s a new movement for hip mums, or something). Wear those grey hairs like a badge of honour. Time doesn’t stand still so neither should your booty, or body for that matter.
-Cuddles and kisses. Give them daily and give them often. They are the BEST part of being a Mum.
-Don’t worship your children. They’re not little princes, they didn’t arrive with crowns (unless you’re Kate and seeking advice on my blog for raising baby George. He did arrive as a prince). Let them put on their own socks if they’re able. Request them to wait until Mummy has finished talking before they show their new dance routine. We want mannerly, modest human beings in society. Start by raising that generation of amazing human beings in the four walls of your home.
– Don’t be scared of them. I get scared every morning when I ask my boys to put their shoes on and grab their toothbrushes for “teeth time”. I dread the screams and potential backlash. However, nine times out of ten they surprise me and they listen. Same with my wish to stop tv watching before school during the week. It was an easier transition than my fears allowed me to believe. Remind yourself that they’re not the boss.
– Teach them skills. Practical skills are ace- cycling, swimming, egg and spoon, drawing, clapping etc. But also social skills, the art of conversation and the ablity to sit at a table communicating about their day and finishing their dinner (we needed a reward chart for the sitting and eating but we’re getting there so stay strong).
– Ask for help. If you’re a single parent reading this, I applaud you. No really, you are fabulous. If you’re lucky enough to have family or friends around, let people wash your dishes or make you dinner on the weekend. If you on the other hand are in a partnership and have kids with someone, then share the load. It’s better for everyone. Many hands make light work.
-Limit the junk. As above when stopping tv before school during the week, we have also reduced the sweets in our house. My eldest had a tooth filling. It broke my heart, especially as I have a junk yard mouth full of fillings and dreaded the same with my kids. I cried to/at the dentist. But this is life and I have to keep perspective and deal with it. Healthy choices apply also to their gutt and their brain, not just their teeth- the foods that go in will have an effect on every part of them so make some good choices and see some good highs.
– Breed contentment. As in show your kids that although they’re not princes and princesses they are the most special little tykes in your house hold and in your world. Let them have self confidence in their strange clothes choices and love of chips dipped into full fat milk. Make self worth a priority before they go into the depths of our disrupted society and don’t have your hand to hold.
-Apply humour. You will need it and it will make disagreements over a zipped up coat versus an unzipped coat, tantrums in the pharmacy and life in general a little bit more bearable.
I could go on but really I’ve spilled enough of our daily mayhem and my unchartered wisdom to you.
Thanks for reading.
You are an awesome Parent.
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